FATE

...but I can't experience the heat of the sun through foggy mirrors, gods, or abstractions,
deliver yourself or die trying baby, your body is a mirror, baby,
did you know that?
do you want that?

...and I don't hate them for what they've done, I only hated their awful abstractions,
deliver yourself or die trying, baby, your body is a mirror baby...

I’ll cover myself in reflective tape!
I’m only powerful when you're looking at me,
I’m only pretty when you're looking at me,
I’m only real when you're looking at me,

I’ll cover myself in reflective tape,
but I won't beg for you to shine your light on me,
I’m not begging, I’m not scratching,
I’m not entitled to my identity,

I’ll cover myself in reflective tape,
unless asked I will say
nothing nothing nothing , hibernality,
and a white hot razor in my leg.

(everything to lose, I’ll be your everything to lose ,
come down from heaven,
and let me,
become your,
muse)

four angels pull me out of a deep-blue sea ,
and throw me on a hill, wintry and sun-bleached,
one looks at me before turning away,
(and) tell(s) me all my love is illusory!
I am nothing in the light of the holy fire ,
my final dream last night, the last time i'll see you...

your body gets bigger until it implodes, and there is only a blue light, a hum, and nothing , a mess of soft skin packed into shrunken clothes, and i am naked in the light of your wholeness. I am too afraid to speak as you slowly motion toward me. it is first my hands that dissolve into cells, tiny magnets that embrace your confounding shape. suddenly and silently I am pulled into you with all the force in the world. i close my eyes and become.
i only ever wanted to love you as a mirror . I saw nothing in myself as alien or as gossamer as the light behind your eyes. my fumbling hands could never hold anything so delicate. i should have cut them off for you.
...and i can still feel your power as it grabs me by my shirtfront and pulls me zigzag between worlds. it is pure and holy and I want it to absolutely destroy me. I want to see a light so bright it burns out my eyes. I want to see a hand so powerful it snaps my wrist . there is a power so big that I cannot obfuscate it with my words.
there is a power so big that it can withstand my blasphemous abstraction.
there is a power so big it can make me shut up